The Drunken Toddler
A cautionary tale perhaps, my earliest memory is of being drunk
At the Christmas party, this almost 3 year old had been quite industrious
Drinking the bottom of the various glasses that the guests were imbibing
A cocktail of sharp tasting liquids, the base materials of my experiment
Until my vision blurred and the alcohol had its effect.
"My head is round"Apparently my declaration of inhibition
Caused alarm among the partygoers
Spoiled the festivities frankly
The adventures of the drunken toddler
Parents, never rest on your laurels,
Keep a close watch on your offspring
In the event, a wellspring of visions, promptly hung over,
I counted the cost
Mum's red mini loomed large in the driveway,
Its googly eyes staring at me
Spinning, eyes wide open, walls expanding,
the whole world was collapsing
That'll teach you rightI've found virtue in moderation ever since
Those fever dreams and hallucinations
An early lesson in buyer's remorse
Staggered straight to bed
Never to be repeated
The case of the drunken toddler
Punch Drunk, a playlist
A playlist on a loss of inhibition. (spotify version)
- Only When I'm Drunk by Tha Alkaholiks
- One More Drink by Jaguar Wright
- Punch Drunk by Sade
- Drunk As Cooter Brown by Cassandra Wilson
- This World is Drunk by Raphael Saadiq
- I Want to Take You Higher by Sly & The Family Stone
File under: life, observation, culture, perception, alcohol, memory, humour, Observers are worried, poetry, toli
Writing log: December 30, 2022

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