Attrition Curve

Voluntary separation
Consider it an opportunity
If it fits with your plans
Might as well take the money

Take the offer, for sure, it's a tough call
For, who knows, the next time will be involuntary
It isn't pretty, you know, when the ax falls
Firings, unemployment, turmoil, redundancies

Take the buyout, it's relatively generous too
Just surprising that they'd pay you to leave
Pitching it as early retirement or the chance for something new
Ignoring entirely all the tales they were spinning just last week

To their credit, they aren't handling it like others in the industry
The fashion of layoffs is catching, albeit their choices are arbitrary
Impersonal, the casual cruelty of what they call restructuring activities
But no doubt it still hurts to have them talk of performance calibration
Empty phrases: managing the attrition curve, structural costs reduction

Voluntary Separation, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify)

• Buyout by The Floozies
• Can't Afford You Mad Cobra
• All I Have to offer you (is me) by Charley Pride
• Buyout by Esham
  Imagining what one would do with the proceeds of the Chrysler buyout. Cautionary tales have their own soundtrack
• Your Mess by Omar
• I'm a Mess by Anthony Hamilton
• Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine
• All Good Things (Come to an End) by Nelly Furtado
• Unexpected Things by Hohzo
• Severance by Street Fever

Bonus beats Get Rid Ah Dem by Sizzla

...

Previously, in the same vein:

• Restructuring Activities
• A Resource Action
• Workforce Rebalancing
• A Message from our Leader
• Involuntary Termination

File under: language, bureaucracy, work, economics, corporation, culture, job, USA, observation, poetry, perception, capitalism, humour, satire, The Rough Beast, toli

Writing log: May 12, 2023