Attrition Curve

Voluntary separation
Consider it an opportunity
If it fits with your plans
Might as well take the money

Take the offer, for sure, it's a tough call
For, who knows, the next time will be involuntary
It isn't pretty, you know, when the ax falls
Firings, unemployment, turmoil, redundancies

Take the buyout, it's relatively generous too
Just surprising that they'd pay you to leave
Pitching it as early retirement or the chance for something new
Ignoring entirely all the tales they were spinning just last week

To their credit, they aren't handling it like others in the industry
The fashion of layoffs is catching, albeit their choices are arbitrary
Impersonal, the casual cruelty of what they call restructuring activities
But no doubt it still hurts to have them talk of performance calibration
Empty phrases: managing the attrition curve, structural costs reduction

Voluntary Separation, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify)

• Buyout by The Floozies
• Can't Afford You Mad Cobra
• All I Have to offer you (is me) by Charley Pride
• Buyout by Esham
  Imagining what one would do with the proceeds of the Chrysler buyout. Cautionary tales have their own soundtrack
• Your Mess by Omar
• I'm a Mess by Anthony Hamilton
• Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine
• All Good Things (Come to an End) by Nelly Furtado
• Unexpected Things by Hohzo
• Severance by Street Fever

Bonus beats Get Rid Ah Dem by Sizzla

...

Previously, in the same vein:

• Restructuring Activities
• A Resource Action
• Workforce Rebalancing
• A Message from our Leader
• Involuntary Termination

File under: language, bureaucracy, work, economics, corporation, culture, job, USA, observation, poetry, perception, capitalism, humour, satire, The Rough Beast, toli

Writing log: May 12, 2023

Response Consultant

America bestows gifts
To its favored sons
But exacts a heavy price

Giving rise to job titles that confound,
The nature of the dream is a patent lie
This land of plenty
Dispenses the characteristic headline:

"Active shooter response consultant shares insight"

Threat readiness, crisis training.
Developing situational awareness
Uneasy phrases marketing a lucrative industry.
A growing corporate business

A proud legacy
This bloody exceptionalism,
The fruit of tribal sacrifice

A balm of thoughts and prayers
In this austere ceremony
Roaring while closing one's eyes

After: Retired police officer, active shooter response consultant shares insight after Walmart shooting

Tuesday’s attack in Chesapeake is the 15th mass shooting location that Marko Galbreath has visited since he began his training.

(November 25, 2022)

Action Items, a playlist

A soundtrack for this lament (spotify version)

• What's Going On by Marvin Gaye
• Right and a Wrong Way by Keith Sweat
• Prayer by D'Angelo
• The Moment I Feared by Slick Rick

See previously: Action Items and Prone

File under: USA, blood, violence, absurd, culture, observation, modernity, perception, language, bureaucracy, corporation, work, life, poetry, outrage, The Rough Beast, Observers are worried, toli

Writing log: November 26, 2022

Involuntary Termination

Register now! A ninety minute session
For human resources professionals
Update your knowledge about redundancies
And learn about terminating employees safely

As the latest research has shown
The risks of a former employee filing discrimination charges
Increases significantly - and therein lies the danger,
After they are terminated involuntarily

Hence the importance of documentation
And having the right steps and procedures
When conducting disciplinary discussions
For a termination should be handled well

Active preparation makes good business sense
Writing and following a script to minimize legal risk
Helps you maintain employee morale and productivity
The benefits of effective termination practices

Involuntary Termination, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify version)

• Hydra by Grover Washington Jnr
• Break it to me Gently by Angela Bofill
• Softly Softly by Sweetback ft Maxwell
• Break You Off by The Roots ft Musiq
• Break it to me Gently by Juice Newton

Previously, in the same vein:

• Restructuring Activities
• A Resource Action
• Workforce Rebalancing
• A Message from our Leader

File under: humour, satire, language, bureaucracy, work, economics, corporation, culture, job, USA, observation, poetry, perception, capitalism, The Rough Beast, toli

Writing log: September 22, 2022

Action Items

Oh! I think I'm going to have to end this presentation now
I... I just got a message... It's on the news?... Oh wow
There's... there's an active shooter at my daughter's high school

What's that? Yes, yes, I have a number of action items
Look, I'll.. I'll schedule another teleconference
I have to go now. Rob can handle things. Um, Rob over to you

Mics unmuted. Gasps. Harrumphs.
   Worldwide expressions of sympathy
This is America.
This is the country's regular brand of insanity

Still, action items?
Who asked that? Poor form. Absurdity.
What is wrong with you, man?
Where is your humanity?

...

Michigan High School Shooting: 3 Students Killed and Several Critically Injured

A 15-year-old sophomore was taken into custody with a semiautomatic handgun that was bought by his father four days before the fatal shooting.

...

Action Items, a playlist

A soundtrack for this lament (spotify version)

• What's Going On by Marvin Gaye
• Right and a Wrong Way by Keith Sweat
• Prayer by D'Angelo
• The Moment I Feared by Slick Rick

...

Timing is everything
Observers are worried

File undebr: USA, blood, violence, absurd, culture, observation, modernity, perception, language, bureaucracy, corporation, work, life, poetry, outrage, guns, The Rough Beast, Observers are worried, toli

Writing log. Concept: November 30, 2021; December 12, 2021