Attrition Curve

Voluntary separation
Consider it an opportunity
If it fits with your plans
Might as well take the money

Take the offer, for sure, it's a tough call
For, who knows, the next time will be involuntary
It isn't pretty, you know, when the ax falls
Firings, unemployment, turmoil, redundancies

Take the buyout, it's relatively generous too
Just surprising that they'd pay you to leave
Pitching it as early retirement or the chance for something new
Ignoring entirely all the tales they were spinning just last week

To their credit, they aren't handling it like others in the industry
The fashion of layoffs is catching, albeit their choices are arbitrary
Impersonal, the casual cruelty of what they call restructuring activities
But no doubt it still hurts to have them talk of performance calibration
Empty phrases: managing the attrition curve, structural costs reduction

Voluntary Separation, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify)

• Buyout by The Floozies
• Can't Afford You Mad Cobra
• All I Have to offer you (is me) by Charley Pride
• Buyout by Esham
  Imagining what one would do with the proceeds of the Chrysler buyout. Cautionary tales have their own soundtrack
• Your Mess by Omar
• I'm a Mess by Anthony Hamilton
• Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine
• All Good Things (Come to an End) by Nelly Furtado
• Unexpected Things by Hohzo
• Severance by Street Fever

Bonus beats Get Rid Ah Dem by Sizzla

...

Previously, in the same vein:

• Restructuring Activities
• A Resource Action
• Workforce Rebalancing
• A Message from our Leader
• Involuntary Termination

File under: language, bureaucracy, work, economics, corporation, culture, job, USA, observation, poetry, perception, capitalism, humour, satire, The Rough Beast, toli

Writing log: May 12, 2023

Involuntary Termination

Register now! A ninety minute session
For human resources professionals
Update your knowledge about redundancies
And learn about terminating employees safely

As the latest research has shown
The risks of a former employee filing discrimination charges
Increases significantly - and therein lies the danger,
After they are terminated involuntarily

Hence the importance of documentation
And having the right steps and procedures
When conducting disciplinary discussions
For a termination should be handled well

Active preparation makes good business sense
Writing and following a script to minimize legal risk
Helps you maintain employee morale and productivity
The benefits of effective termination practices

Involuntary Termination, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify version)

• Hydra by Grover Washington Jnr
• Break it to me Gently by Angela Bofill
• Softly Softly by Sweetback ft Maxwell
• Break You Off by The Roots ft Musiq
• Break it to me Gently by Juice Newton

Previously, in the same vein:

• Restructuring Activities
• A Resource Action
• Workforce Rebalancing
• A Message from our Leader

File under: humour, satire, language, bureaucracy, work, economics, corporation, culture, job, USA, observation, poetry, perception, capitalism, The Rough Beast, toli

Writing log: September 22, 2022

Default Deny

Default deny is a very simple policy
Easily defended on grounds of complexity
What with the ease of implementation, even if cruel
With the golden excuse, we were just following the rules

Insurance companies often take refuge in it, it's a frequent addiction
Imposing on their customers by default, as it were, this untoward friction
Cynical, in their time of loss when they need rapid compensation
They instead offer up the burden of these inconvenient fictions

In the full knowledge that many won't bother and simply drop it
Their bean counters salivating in the back office thinking: profit
Mind you they're quick to pretend that the end result was not intended
And that it is perfectly normal to shy away from services rendered

Even if the sheer outrage is hard to countenance
It speaks to the perils of living with your fellow man
It's the injustice of it, all those years you duly paid those premiums due
Then it turns out that, all along, they were taking you for a bloody fool

Hence the importance of norms, rules and regulations and enforcement
But also the stick of tort, laws, oversight and, ultimately, punishment
The constant need to redress the wrong and put them on notice
To do the right thing by default and resist the temptation

And shame too has been known to work its charm
Applying the fear of god to prevent such harm
Brand damage remains a powerful tool for compliance
Eternal vigilance being the price of soul insurance

II. Coda

Default deny is also well known in networking technology
Firewalls, those gatekeepers, often turn to this strategy
Out of the box it gets you up and running very quickly
It's the low hanging fruit, good enough, the poor man's security
Protection from without but, sadly, it doesn't cover every layer
'Tis quite the pity, you still need to guard against bad actors
The real world is complicated, it's merely the start of a fight
Trust in Allah, goes the proverb, but always tie up your camel at night

Default Deny, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify version)

• You Can't Deny It by Lisa Stansfield
• Turned Away by Chuckii Booker
• Strategy by Archie Bell & the Drells
• You Can't Turn Me Away by Sylvia Striplin

...

Timing is everything
Observers are worried

File under: humour, strategy, culture, observation, policy, insurance, economics, friction, regulation, law, standards, capitalism, incentives, outrage, networks, technology, security, poetry, Observers are worried, toli

Writing log: September 18, 2022

Striving Simians

There is an art to being a great leader
We rightfully celebrate those few examples that we have
Many books and tomes have been written

There is also an art to being a bad leader
These last proliferated throughout history
Indeed, bad seeds are plainly in the majority

Still, despite the appeal of cautionary tales,
Far fewer tales are told about bad leaders
Heroes over zeroes, humanity prefers redemption stories

Ever the optimists, we celebrate triumphs rather than failure
Perverse incentives carried over from our antecedents in the savanna
The pathology of groups outlined in crass social behavior
Paradoxically, we reward bad leaders in equal measure as good leaders

Some contend it's even worse in the modern corporation
Namely, that we reward bad managers out of routine dysfunction
Call it the Peter Principle or what have you, they tend to fail upwards
Borne on the deep seated human need to be appreciated

Monkey dey work, baboon dey chop
The fear of being shunned
To be laughed at for being mistaken or ridiculous
The importance of grooming, the appeal of approval ratings
Fragility, we accommodate rogues for fear of shame
Ignorance is bliss, we blindly obey the rules
And stay quiet, lest our competence be impugned

The banality and burden of following the orders
The ever looming specter of the conqueror
Striving simians we are, not far removed from the savanna

Monkey dey work, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note, from afrobeat to blues by way of jazz funk. spotify version)

• Monkey dey work, Baboon dey chop by Captain Planet
• Monkey by George Michael
• Monkey dey work by Dj Stereo
• Signifying Monkey by Oscar Brown, Jr.
• Monkey and Baboon by Dr John
• Lord of the Golden Baboon by Mandrill
• Baboon Strength by Charlie Hunter
• Monkey dey work by Wisdom
• Mandrill by Mandrill
• Ape is High by Mandrill

See previously: Restructuring Activities

File under: groups, communities, pathology, social, culture, observation, perception, capitalism, office, job, work, Observers are worried, Buyer's Remorse, poetry, toli

Writing log. April 22, 2022

Ammunition Analysts

Once again, the bean counters are having a field day
Ever since the tanks started rolling across the border
Every bullet, every missile, even if wayward, must be tallied
Every drone, every tank, every bomb matters in this accounting

Overflow flights, satellites pressed into service
High resolution images, surveillance analysis
Logistics is all in reality, feel free to talk strategy
Paying lip service to achievable political objectives

Ammunition analysts expound on dogma and distress
Manpower conservation and combat effectiveness
The fool's paradise of precision munition
The ultimate hubris of force projection

The subtle difference between annihilation
And the term of art, the war of attrition
Distinctions raised between regrouping and retreating
Sustained gains by ground forces and unit cohesion

Summoning tallies of the losses and casualty rates
Execution with poor coordination amidst endless debates
Fuel shortages and the care of the supporting cast
Envelopment of forces along the axis of advance

Armies need to be fed, there's the danger of diffusion of effort
The arrayment of infantry troops and their artillery support
Planning salient offensives and platoon positions
Competing priorities of squads, their bounds of operation

A crying shame, as ever,
   That we have normalized the machinery of death
Even the global pause was only temporary
   Viz the return of this madness
Futility, the marshaling of doctrine
   In service of chimeric victories
For when it comes to blood and sin
   There can only be routs and defeats

War, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify version)

• War by Edwin Starr
• Louder than a bomb by Public Enemy
• Choice of Weapons by Guru
• This is Madness by The Last Poets
• Isn't It a Pity by Nina Simone

A nice coda with reflective piano is The War of Northern Aggression by Van Hunt but sadly that isn't available on streaming services. Nina does the honors here to close things out, isn't it a pity?

...

I wrote this piece in 2022, it strikes me as perhaps even more timely today as I check the headlines. Isn't it a pity?

File under: language, war, culture, observation, perception, bureaucracy, military, economics, capitalism, absurd, outrage, blood, Observers are worried, The Rough Beast, poetry, toli

Writing log: April 3, 2022

The Body Wash Situation

Now it's come to this, an inglorious chapter
Did they really have to go this far, I wonder?
Some things in life are just so disconcerting
Now I'm facing the body wash situation

You see, somebody's been messing with my shower
The signs were unpromising just a few weeks earlier
I'd noticed on the bottle that ominous portent of terror
Yes indeed, brightly highlighted, it read: New Formula

Uh oh, I thought, I wonder how this will go over
The Wife, you see - bless her, is a delicate flower
Woe is me, her nose for scents is simply without equal
Would this new formula repeat the earlier debacle?

Twenty years was a good run for a product, it's indubitable
I guess the new formula striking once again was inevitable
Back then, I’d being forced into exile with the demise of Oil of Olay
Their "new and improved" body wash was a clear fail - plain as day

I'd investigated, and found that they'd changed their formula
   Because of the price of soybeans
Call it a supply chain adjustment,
   Late stage capitalism messing with my shower routine

At length, I'd then settled on Aveeno
"Unscented and fragrance free"
And what's this they're now touting?
The new formula is "Sulfate free"

I suppose I should rejoice, going by their advertising material
Their chemists have plainly gone to great lengths for this sequel
So I tried the new bottle out....
   It's okay on the skin but clearly different
But, as you know, we live in community, I'm not the only constituent...

Yep, it only took a week for The Wife to start to complain
"There's a new smell in the house, it's giving me a migraine"
The writing was on the wall, marital strife beckoned, what a disaster
And now I'm creeping, scouring pharmacies, searching for the old formula

You can see where I'm going with this, the roots of my dilemma
They messed with a good thing and came up with the new formula
Now I'm stuck with bar soap. The Wife made me cancel my subscription!
Until I find an acceptable replacement, I'm facing the body wash situation

— Figure 1: old formula (left), new formula (right)

II.

Now I played it for laughs, but this situation is deadly serious
I'm also an organic chemist at heart and hence quite curious
Can't a man have a shower in peace? Such is my predicament
I resolved to get to the bottom of things and check out the ingredients

From a visual inspection, I couldn't detect a change in color
The change is in the olfactory realm, something about the odor
To the touch, the cream feels just a little bit thicker
And perhaps, I'd hazard, it lingers on the skin longer

Turns out, from the label, that the old formula was "Made in Canada"
Hmm, how damnable, the new formula is "Made in America"
I don't know, I think I prefer the work of the Canucks
Because this American formulation, quite frankly, sucks

I see what they did there: they took the more expensive seeds out
And tried to mask the change by claiming they're taking sulfates out
I've been down this road before, I almost want to scream and shout
I'm not inclined, at this stage, to give them the benefit of the doubt

Gone are the citric acid, coriander fruit, and cardamomum seed oil
Replaced by, who's ever heard of, Pelargonium Graveolens Flower Oil
Stick to core competency, I mean talk about missing ingredients
Bean counters and boffins inflicting on us this kind of deviance

They've now turned to the hard sell. On this, the evidence bears me out:
"91% agreed this product gently cleansed their skin without drying it out"
Are they imposing a global formula change using leftovers and by-products?
Or, Dear Reader, do I need to move to Canada to find my beloved product?

What gives? What's wrong with a little sodium laureth sulfate?
Why do I need to switch to, of all things, ethylene brassylate?
Is there nothing sacred anymore? Call it buyer's remorse
I mean The Wife is now actively contemplating divorce

Some things should be sacrosanct but they'd rather whitewash
For god's sake, why are they messing with a man's body wash?
I'm rather minded to call it The Aveeno Debacle
Frankly Johnson & Johnson, this is unacceptable

And so I leave you stewing, with a mix of anger and frustration
Driving around town with the kids in search of the old formulation
"The customer is always right" is the quintessential American fiction
Steel yourself and gird your loins for when you face your own body wash situation

— Figure 2: list of differences in the ingredients.
old formula (left), new formula (right)

The Body Wash Situation, a playlist

A contentious soundtrack for this note (spotify version)

• Why you get funky on me? by Today
  The album is called The New Formula; essential swingbeat that asks the existential question about body wash

  Why you get funky on me?
  Tell me why?

• Don't mess up a good thing by Joe Louis Walker
  I'm singing the bar soap blues these days
• A little bit of soap by Garnett Mimms
  I know it's one of the greatest inventions, but I preferred body wash.
• Body wash by Roberto Horns
  Ominously, the album is titled I think I have to break up with my girlfriend
• You've changed by Billie Holiday
  Lady in Satin said it best.
• Bean counter by Nocturnal Emissions
• Don't mess up a good thing by Booker T & the MGs
• You've changed by Dexter Gordon
  Dexter's tone on saxophone is impeccable as always, a devastating ballad
• Don't mess up this good thing by Janet Jackson
  Janet was in the bubblegum zone when this came out
• I got the feeling by Today
  That's something's going wrong
• You've changed by Ella Fitzgerald
  Sad to say, you've changed for the new formula

Bonus beats: You've turned my whold world around by Barry White

— Figure 3: ingredient list and marketing hard sell
old formula (left), new formula (right)

Please bring back the old formula Aveeno Johnson & Johnson
With this unseemly change, I'm unmanned, I really can't cope
It no longer passes the wife test, this is a desperate call to action
Please bring back the old formula... and save me from bar soap

...

[Update]

Six weeks later and things are no better, I really can't cope
The Wife threw out the various substitutes I tried out, she said nope
Even the brand that bore her middle name, sensitive skin and all was a no go
Leaving me to bask in that time-tested but low frills efficiency: bar soap


More beats in this time of mourning: I can't go for that by Hall & Oates and Come Back by Keith Sweat

...

See previously on this curio of late stage capitalism:

• The New Formula
• New and Improved
• Juicing the books

And for more on the domestic front,

• The Dishwasher Situation
• The Plight of the Soccer Widow
• Dilemmas
• Frisson de Folksonomie

Needless to say, I dissent.

(Oh, look at the date. Ducks)

File under: humour, economics, marketing, whimsy, technology, New Formula, Hard Sell, backlash, hatchet job, life, culture, observation, perception, capitalism, Small Things, Observers are worried, Buyer's Remorse, poetry, toli

Writing log: February 16, 2024

Workforce Rebalancing

We recorded workforce rebalancing charges in the combined income statement
Structural actions to simplify and optimize the increase in employee exits
The allocation of corporate expenses was not meaningful

...

Structural actions
Simplify and optimize
Employee exits




After The Company's 8-K filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission

See previously: Restructuring Activities and The Annual Report

File under: language, work, life, culture, observation, perception, capitalism, office, job, culture, irony, waste, poetry, humour, The Rough Beast, Observers are worried, toli

Writing log: November 7, 2021

The Annual Report

The leading contender was just launched (category: literary fiction)
A touch unorthodox perhaps, it's hard to keep up with the latest fashions
Today's fresh arrival in my mailbox was The Company's annual report
Would it be magical realism this year or the stream of consciousness of yore?

The most interesting section in The Company's 10-K statement
Outlined "the rationale for management's use of non-GAAP information
In the Compensation Discussion and Analysis and Proxy Statement"
A wonder of the world: dense bureaucratese and obfuscation

"The Company believes" that this fiction "provides increased transparency
And clarity into both the operational results of the business
And the performance of The Company's pension plans improves visibility
To management decisions and their impacts on operational performance"

The wholesale escapism, the whimsical mix of romance and fantasy
That The Company's writers have laid out, so striking and awkward
"Enables better comparison to peer companies; and allows The Company
To provide a long-term strategic view of the business going forward."

I'm not normally a fan of the fantasy genre but was quite shaken to the core
By this panoply of words hidden in plain sight that confounded and obscured
What with precious jewels of misdirection whose sole intent was to distort
I commend to the Pulitzer Prize committee The Company's annual report

Fantasy, a Playlist

A fictitious soundtrack for this note. (spotify version)

• Fantasy by Earth, Wind & Fire
• My Fantasy by Guy
• Fantasy by Mariah Carey and O.D.B)
• Fantasy by George Michael
• Bone Lies by Freddie MacGregor

Some things take away your breath and reading the company's annual report was revelatory.

...

Timing is everything
Observers are worried

File under: language, misdirection, shell game, humour, hatchet job, culture, observation, IBM, deception, finance, capitalism, Observers are worried, toli

Writing log. Concept March 28, 2020. August 19, 2021

Inoculation Efficiency

We know the names by now, start with the golden child, Pfizer
Their application of mRNA vaccines led the way, as did that of Moderna
That last featured a weekend assist from good old Doctor Fauci
Fingers crossed, modulo new variants, we're on the way to herd immunity

And then there's the Oxford AstraZeneca variant that one should mention
Whose rollout in the UK temporarily saved the clown Boris Johnson
Surprising really, that vaccine bounce seems to have paused the clock
When the Grim Political Reaper should have dealt with him and Matt Hancock

For their neglect is measured in tens of thousands of dead bodies
And worldwide, there've been millions of devastated families
Sure, the virus sets the timeline and has moved to new epicenters
But the wounds have cut too deep; these are affairs to remember

While Merck were disappointed with the results of their own concoction
Uncle Amtrak Joe cajoled them to assist Johnson & Johnson
Well, cajoled is the nice way of putting that fact
He quietly threatened to invoke the Defense Production Act

They hastened to act quickly,
  this was no time to be quibbling about consent
When the specter has been raised,
   in this emergency, about waiving patents
No, it wouldn't do. Pharmaceutical profits,
   hook or crook, had to be maintained
Without intellectual property protections,
   monopolists are in a world of pain

We're all learning about logistics and vaccine supply chains
And about custom fridges and efficiently deployed cold chains
When you lack infrastructure
  you favor something cheap and easy to store
A surefire reason those in the global south would prefer a one stop shop

All those making a fuss about vaccine efficiency
  have fallen for misdirection
Spare a thought for those highlighting
  who controls the means of production
Generics is the watchword and its corollary is profits
Like the quote from The Graduate, "One word: Plastics"

One read that GlaxoSmithKline and Sanofi are also playing catch up
But all these new variants mean that there'll be time enough to level up
While we now hear about vaccine diplomacy,
   I must say it's a seller's market
For when no one is coming, as a buyer,
  you'll pay whatever usurious price is set

This note is part of a series: In a covidious time

File under: coronavirus, pandemic, culture, observation, humour, vaccine, competition, economics, strategy, monopoly, capitalism, power, shell game, public health, poetry, covidious, Observers are worried, toli

Writing log: May 3, 2021

Up Close and Personal

I recall a roadside nail salon, I saw them grooming in the streets
Now stuck at home, many learned what you could do without in extremis
This global pause, borne of a disease and planetary emergency,
Has caused many a reconsideration of one's identity
For you could go without many strictures that society used to impose
All the way from haircuts, to fancy nails, and even working clothes
What they termed domestic cozy escaped from being a passing fad
To become a universal pose, a way of life lived in your sweatpants

Not for nothing that the first ones to mandate a return to the office
Were J.P. Morgan, the investment bankers, factotums of the monopolists
It's hard to justify the chores of the masters of the universe
At a remove from boiler rooms, alpha males lack people to coerce
The burden of their capitalism demanded that labour return to the fold

I'm minded that The Grind Date
   was not just an album recorded by De La Soul
The loudest cries to reopen the economy
   came from, well, call them vultures
Equipped with perverse incentives galore,
   a shame aversion subculture
But the virus sets the timeline,
   we are yet to reach herd immunity
And even with vaccine nationalism,
   a global disease requires global solidarity

Up Close and Personal, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify version)

• Move Closer by Phyllis Nelson
• Closer by Goapele
• Cozy by Bar-Kays
• Too Close by Next
• Up Close and Personal by Buju Banton

This note is part of a series: In a covidious time

File under: culture, observation, perception, coronavirus, pandemic, Ghana, capitalism, culture, work, Africa, covidious, poetry, Observers are worried, toli

Writing log: April 30, 2021

Force Majeure

I like to think of good King Solomon as a claims adjuster
Whose renown came from the application of force majeure clauses
For the essence of his intervention in the famed custody dispute
   was none other
Than that how one reacts to sudden adversity
   determines whether we should get applause

It was Ananse the Spider who clean absconded with the pot of wisdom
When the tale of the lost stories became part of humanity's curriculum
Solomon's later strategic insight lay in the soul insurance he dispensed:
When the snake is in the house, there's no need to discuss the matter at length

Later, one can satisfy those with delicate sensibilities
Who would rudely cite due process, chapter and verse
But in the heat of the moment, borne of necessity
None can argue, decisive measures are of the essence

It is no wonder that a central banker,
In extremis, acts first to protect the rich
Ignore the cover story that the world was falling,
And all that business about systemic risk

Like a mother who instinctively gathers her brood
Hastening to escape a fire or avalanche
There's no time for observing the rules
Forget regulations, this is soul insurance

If I recall, it was the Sage of Omaha,
Warren Buffett, who once said
"Only when the tide goes out do you discover
Who's been swimming naked"

And Walter Bagehot in Lombard Street, it was that noted,
"Every great crisis reveals the excessive speculations
Of many houses which no one before suspected",
An altogether astute observation

We saw during the Great Recession,
Rules set aside, as if they were no longer in vogue
The haste with which the political system
Rushed to indemnify so many financial rogues

Scoundrels whose vulture capitalist behavior
Fomented wholesale casino Ponzi misdeeds
Not for nothing, many still made shocking profits,
Not the least of which the great vampire squid

Disasters, not least the covidious,
Reveal what societies are wont to value
They lay bare the fig leaves of consensus,
It's not what we say but what we do

Call it sharpening the contradictions
As the actions are often shown to be crude
These fugitive glimpses of the real world
And of those who were swimming in the nude

Oh the celebration at the outset,
   of the hordes, the brave essential workers
Yet some others formed betting pools
   on who would survive of their number
It was made fairly clear that if you worked in a meatpacking plant
You were an afterthought, for they only made to protect the banks

But back to our song of Solomon
And our erstwhile soul insurance agent
Who negotiated the terms and conditions
The policies and society's cost payments

Without shame we'll never reach herd immunity
Nay, for this policy there's no buyer's remorse
This pandemic is a signal moment of clarity
It's time to invoke the force majeure clause

Force Majeure, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note. (spotify version)

• Heat of the Moment by After 7
• Solomon Sang by Cassandra Wilson
• Just in Time by Joshua Redman
• On the Spur of the Moment by Horace Parlan
• Respond/React by The Roots
• Moment of Clarity by Jay-Z
• Take Care of Homework by Full Force
• When You Gonna Learn? by Jamiroquai
• Wait No Longer by Joshua Redman
• Emergency on Planet Earth by Jamiroquai

See previously: Soul Insurance

This note is part of a series: In a covidious time

File under: rogues, folktale, capitalism, communities, values, culture, observation, humour, perception, disaster, insurance, coronavirus, pandemic, politics, power, hatchet job, Observers are worried, Buyer's Remorse, poetry, covidious, toli

Writing log: April 29, 2021

The Corruption Tango (Part 4 The World's Lawyer)

Part 4 of The Corruption Tango (see previously)

IV. The World's Lawyer

My dear uncle, of blessed memory, used to work at the World Bank
He had a seat at the table, he'd risen to a high rank

With world movers and shakers, many said to be covered in glory
From his vantage point, up close and personal, he saw the backstory

Of many of the headlines that we would later read in the daily news
He was intimately familiar with the ways in which due process was abused

The haste with which the bounds of propriety
   would be promptly set aside
And the board's directors would say the magic words: let's override

It often happened to coincide happily
   with what the American president wants
The fig leaves of accountability
   that were forsaken in light of such demands

A lawyer, he rose in the profession
   to become the bank's top legal counsel
Jokingly, he referred to his job as the restraint of the world's scoundrels

For even though he constantly sided "with the ninety nine percent"
His very salary and position placed him firmly in the one percent

He saw through those demanding structural adjustment and reforms
Shifting the blame to Third World cultural traditions and lax norms

For much of the impetus came from these selfsame First World rogues
Who would emphasize whatever fine words happened to be in vogue

The hubris of people in glass houses and all that
He chose his moments to bring up inconvenient facts

What with his work on matters of compliance in the banking sector
Conversations with him were always revelatory chapters

He was quite jaded, if not cynical, about human fallibility
Hard-boiled even, such are the wages of observing venality

I imagine it was like shooting the breeze with a vice cop
He'd seen it all, try as I could, there was nothing that could shock

The media accounts always focus on
   the weak country and the bribe taker
Scapegoats: the low trust culture, and the willingly suborned insider

Thus it was written, that huhudious drama of the cease and desist
Almost always turned out in practice to amount to a mere slap on the wrist

It makes you wonder who is writing the script
About these scandals and dirty politics

While there would later be an almanac of political corruption
His contribution was to write the book on combating corruption

Human beings were not too far removed from the garden of Eden
When it became second nature for some to deceive and scheme

Lying for money is akin to original sin
Envy, greed, all these can pave the way to embezzling

There's always the other side to these affairs and imbroglios
Recall the old song, it takes two to do the corruption tango

The Corruption Tango: A Playlist

A soundtrack for this note. (spotify version)

• Takes22tango by Dwele
  The funky shuffle and irresistible step, see Snoop vibe out to the groove.
• (It Takes) Two To Tango by Lester Young With Oscar Peterson
  A fun romp in the studio. "Take off your drawers ...", now there's a seduction
• It Takes Two by Marvin Gaye & Kim Weston
  Baby... to make a thing go right.
• Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock - It Takes Two
  You better think
• Think (About It) by Lyn Collins
  One of James Brown's great productions. Mama Feelgood herself, duly sampled by Rob Base and countless others.
• Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington, Jr. and Bill Withers
  We can make it we try, you and I
• Two Of Us by Cameo
  Although this is more in the devotional mode, the lyrics are instructive

  You've got to help one another

• Think Twice by Erykah Badu (feat. Roy Hargrove)
  A lazy groove, easy living
• Sleaze by Abstrac'
  "A low down dirty excuse for a man"
• Hypocrites by Alpha Blondy
  I too am scared of hypocrites.
• Thinkin' One Thing and Doin' Another by Miles Davis
  On the Corner, he went for the electric funk.
• Tea For Two by Thelonious Monk
  Well the Criss-Cross album is full of contention. A real cooking session.
• Two-Part Contention by Dave Brubeck
  Continuing in the jazz mode, this is a solo piano piece
• Takes Two To Tango by Ray Charles and Betty Carter
  Two great vocal stylists enjoying their meeting. We know that Ray was one for the ladies, but there's no word on if he was able to corrupt her royal highness.
• Talkin' Out The Side Of Your Neck by Cameo
  Speaking with forked tongue
• Two Can Win Jay Dee
  An ironic title, he samples "only one can win". Dilla's donuts are bananas.
• Baby, You Oughta Think It Over by Bobby Womack
  Walk away with your head held high
• Dinner for Two by Michael Cooper
  The Cameo alumni goes mellow
• Who Do You Think You're Fooling (pt 1 & 2) by Symphonic Four
  Quintessential soul music, a divine lead falsetto and rugged background vocals, the boys are a chorus: "when your mind stinks, you forget your soul"
• Carriage For Two by Tricky
  In the background you hear Lady Day's lyrics: "God bless the child that's got his own". The album title is apposite: Angels With Dirty Faces
• Hypocrites by Bob Marley
• Tea For Two by Jacky Terrasson & Cassandra Wilson
  A delicate, nightly rendezvous

The Corruption Tango

A dance in four movements.

1. A Touch of Sleaze
2. Cease and Desist
3. The Temptation of Black Gold
4. The World's Lawyer

I nominate this internal displacement for The Things Fall Apart series. It's a family tradition to call out Fallen Angels.

File under: corruption, culture, observation, perception, humour, USA, rogues, oil, Black Gold, gremlins, parasites, interplay, capitalism, poetry, economics, regulation, Fallen Angels, Africa, Observers are worried, Things Fall Apart, toli

Writing log: Concept: July 7, 2005; March 11, 2021

The Corruption Tango (Part 3 The Temptation of Black Gold)

Part 3 of The Corruption Tango (see previously)

III. The Temptation of Black Gold

Meanwhile, this century has seen a number of elections in Nigeria
Our West African brethren, branded poster child for chaos and disorder

And the conventional wisdom from, say, The Economist was hardly honorable
Sample headline: Nigeria's elections - Big men, big fraud and big trouble

Home of the hustle, the country is continually in the headlines
Tales of shenanigans galore and the entrenched climate of the 419

You'll read things like "rotten at the core", fodder for scoundrels
But doesn't that also describe the options backdating scandal?

Western media hardly covers the good news in the darkest continent
Would that they would apply the same scrutiny to shell games on their end

I actually think it's miraculous for such a large country to keep moving
And even take more than baby steps after decades of misrule and killing

Everyone wants things to move fast,
   corruption is surely a tax on the common man
But every complex ecosystem has parasites,
   that shouldn't be hard to understand

So there will always be the temptation of black gold
It's human nature, a golden target will never get old

Then there are stories like "Saudi prince received arms cash"
That focus on the recipient, the venal prince with the stash

And not on the British multinational arms company
That so happily disbursed those fistfuls of golden money

Observers are worried, how doth the little crocodile?
It seems as if many prefer to affect denial

There seems to be something rather structural at hand
For perverse incentives, seem to be part of the plan

It doesn't seem to matter that the shadow looms of the regulator
The threat of enforcement actions and severe sanctions hardly matter

High profile companies are unbothered
   by the specter of the compliance officer
Ignored, and written off, with a touch of sleaze
   and the workings of the human factor

Or, more formally, the temptations are an inherent part of the process
In this light, bribery is viewed as part of the cost of doing business

There are two sides to this social disease, it just goes to show
That it takes two to do the corruption tango

Black Gold, a playlist

A soundtrack for this note(spotify version)

• I am the black gold of the sun by Rotary Connection
• Black gold by Gene Harris and the Three Sounds
• Black gold by Flying Lotus
• Black gold by Esperanza Spalding
• I am the black gold of the sun by Nuyorican Soul
• Filthy McNasty by Horace Silver

See also: The Corruption Tango: A Playlist

The Corruption Tango

A dance in four movements.

1. A Touch of Sleaze
2. Cease and Desist
3. The Temptation of Black Gold
4. The World's Lawyer

I nominate this internal displacement for The Things Fall Apart series under the banner of Fallen Angels.

Next: Part 4 The World's Lawyer

File under: corruption, culture, observation, perception, humour, USA, rogues, oil, Black Gold, gremlins, parasites, interplay, capitalism, poetry, economics, regulation, Fallen Angels, Africa, Observers are worried, Things Fall Apart, toli

Writing log. Concept: July 7, 2005; March 10, 2021

The Corruption Tango (Part 2 Cease and Desist)

Part 2 of The Corruption Tango

II. Cease and Desist

I was piqued by a little commented-upon story the other day
Well it was a while ago, a little illustration of the games people play

It happened in the shadow of a tragedy you might have heard in the news
It concerned the dealings of a company that rhymes with Baker Hughes

Baker Hughes then being the world's third-largest oilfield services company
You'd no doubt hear its name in the same breath as other high flying somebodies

Like the more notorious Chevron, Exxon, or say Haliburton
Oil and gas services icons and so forth, etcetera, anon

The company's slogan they extol, I must say, is quite endearing:
Core values of integrity, teamwork, performance and learning

Indeed Baker Hughes completed 100 years of corporate history in 2007
It's a wonderful company, Texas-raised, Katrina relief, volunteer heaven

It couldn't have been good to be front and center in the New York Times
Luckily for them, a couple of fallen towers had changed the headlines

The following passage has to be one of my favourite illustrations
Of the corruption tango's reach, and enduring vexations

In an action that was filed on September 12, 2001,
And received little attention at the time, (imagine that?)
Baker Hughes agreed to a cease-and-desist order
Issued by the Securities and Exchange Commision, which said that
It had (repeatedly) violated the Corrupt Practices Act
By bribing an official in Indonesia.

That cease-and-desist order appeared to have had little impact
On the company's behavior, (they stayed on the wrong track)
The S.E.C. action filed Wednesday indicated
It said the payments in Kazakhstan and Angola
Went on from 1998 to 2003, while those to an agent
Involved in securing business in Russia
And Uzbekistan went on from 1998 to 2004, and payments in Indonesia
Went on from 2000 to 2003. Payments in Nigeria
Were made from 2001 to 2005, the S.E.C. said.

In 2003, the company initiated an investigation,
But, the S.E.C. said, it did not uncover some of the violations,
Which allowed them to continue. (End of digression)

Now we shouldn't tar the company with a broad brush for the sins of bad apples
As we surely know that there are rogue elements in the wild, at any level

We need to tread carefully with allegations of insider trading
The bezzle takes a plethora of forms, not least self dealing

It's a matter of concern that culture can undermine the sinews
Far be it to attack the company that rhymes with Baker Hughes

There is a serious commitment to governance, audit, ethics and the environment
I need not say more, there are vast quantities of material on their web site

And, of course, all companies are made out of people in reality
And there are only people behaving, and sometimes, behaving badly

Go back to the founders, Howard Hughes senior's name adds color to the dance
James Ellroy made American Tabloid pulp out of the sleaze of the son

Heck I know some of those characters, the company's storied alumni include Red Adair
Good old John Wayne depicted him in a great b-movie as a prized hellfighter

So distinguished is the composition of its board, it isn't funny
I guess it's plainly obvious that Big Oil attracts Big Money

Check the resumes: Big Banks, Big Real Estate, and Big Property
Curriculum vitae: Imperial Tobacco, Big Insurance, Big Industry

Big Politics, former U.S. Ambassadors to Israel, Syria, the Pentagon
Big Men, Generals and Comptrollers of the U.S. Army, Federal Credit Unions

Needless to say the lineup of shareholders and executives are storied
How then could they possibly be out of compliance with Sarbanes-Oxley?

With that kind of oversight, no one should ever question their integrity
I only mention the story to highlight the interplay, the weakness of humanity

The logic of capitalism: the perverse incentives for those in the know
It is no secret, after all, that it takes two to do the corruption tango

Cease and Desist: A Playlist

A soundtrack for this note (spotify version)

• Don't Be that Way by Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
• Stop Shammin' by Big Daddy Kane
• I Don't Want To Do Wrong by Gladys Knight & the Pips
• Stop! Don't by Count Basie and Joe Williams
• I Don't Need This Trouble by Alice Russell
• Stop by J Dilla
• I Don't Go For That by Quincy Jones
• Stop Think it Over by Jimmy & Eddie
• Stop by Lizz Wright
• It Don't Work Like That by Bugz in the Attic
• You Can't Stop The Rain by Loose Ends
• Can't Stop A Man by Beres Hammond
• I Can't Go For That by Hall & Oates
• Can't Stop by After 7
• Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson
  I was tempted to use I Can't Help It instead but I think this message better fits the behavior and modus operandi of the company that rhymes with Baker Hughes and others in that vein.

See also: The Corruption Tango: A Playlist

The Corruption Tango

A dance in four movements.

1. A Touch of Sleaze
2. Cease and Desist
3. The Temptation of Black Gold
4. The World's Lawyer

I nominate this internal displacement for The Things Fall Apart series under the banner of Fallen Angels.

Next: Part 3 The Temptation of Black Gold

File under: corruption, culture, observation, perception, humour, USA, rogues, oil, Black Gold, gremlins, parasites, interplay, capitalism, poetry, economics, regulation, Fallen Angels, Africa, Observers are worried, Things Fall Apart, toli

Writing log: Concept: July 7, 2005; March 9, 2021

The Corruption Tango

A dance in four movements.

I. A Touch of Sleaze

I know, I know, an oil company bribing in Kazakhstan,
Angola, Indonesia, Nigeria, Russia and Uzbekistan?

Captain Obvious, who would have thought it? Why bother, very passé
Or, alternatively for the more world weary, isn't that so blasé?

It's the very definition of oil barons everywhere in the wild west
That's how robber barons and monopolists amass their treasure chests

So nineteenth century, so railroad tycoon, so captain of industry
So very Portuguese explorer, so very East India Company

And truth be told, it's really no big thing,
A bit of imperialism or monopolistic trading

To make a such a fetish out of a few bribing actions
In a world of rampant stock market manipulation

Where we celebrate ruthless and unscrupulous business practices
On a frequency and scale worthy of a swaggering industrialist

It's not like rubber farming in Liberia by way of the Dunlop family
It's not like a banana republic run by the United Fruit Company

It's a small thing, just a temporary lapse in ethics
That found ordinary Joes caught looting in a crisis

The post-facto rationalization of age old greed is termed mercantilism
Humbug, as Marx might have remarked, it's the thin veneer of capitalism

Fortune favors the bold, the lure of black gold makes brave men take chances
Well... yes and no. Bear with me if you will, as I invite you to a dance.

We aren't talking of eccentric moguls in wonky health
Using exploitative strategies to amass wealth

Profit making for those with an aversion to shame
Pure pricing power for winners of the great game

Rapacious, these highway bandits, to the third degree
The simple secret of their success is a touch of sleaze

There will be blood, if not exploitation, by these canny merchants
There's always a shortcut when you encounter Never Never Man

The preferred tactic of this nouveau aristocracy
Best exemplified by Rockefeller and Carnegie

Is to scrub reputations with overdue philanthropy
Extravagant gestures, museums and public libraries

Serenely unrepentant in his lifetime was the colossus named Rhodes
Even since, the legacy scrubbing has taken on colleges and scholarships

So manifest was his destiny - his confession of faith doth nakedly appall
That centuries later, the cries continue to ring out that Rhodes must Fall

The biographers can argue about his complicated legacy, of course
But unlike Alfred Nobel's example, there was no buyer's remorse

Fallen angels like him and King Leopold
   practiced the conqueror's catechism
What many forget is that, during their lifetimes,
   they faced the charge of racism

But these are merely the opening steps,
   as when the dancers gather for the show
The intimate legacies of men,
   it takes two to do the corruption tango

The Corruption Tango: A Playlist

A soundtrack for this note. (spotify version)

• Takes22tango by Dwele
  The funky shuffle and irresistible step, see Snoop vibe out to the groove.
• (It Takes) Two To Tango by Lester Young With Oscar Peterson
  A fun romp in the studio. "Take off your drawers ...", now there's a seduction
• It Takes Two by Marvin Gaye & Kim Weston
  Baby... to make a thing go right.
• Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock - It Takes Two
  You better think
• Think (About It) by Lyn Collins
  One of James Brown's great productions. Mama Feelgood herself, duly sampled by Rob Base and countless others.
• Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington, Jr. and Bill Withers
  We can make it we try, you and I
• Two Of Us by Cameo
  Although this is more in the devotional mode, the lyrics are instructive

  You've got to help one another

• Think Twice by Erykah Badu (feat. Roy Hargrove)
  A lazy groove, easy living
• Sleaze by Abstrac'
  "A low down dirty excuse for a man"
• Hypocrites by Alpha Blondy
  I too am scared of hypocrites.
• Thinkin' One Thing and Doin' Another by Miles Davis
  On the Corner, he went for the electric funk.
• Tea For Two by Thelonious Monk
  Well the Criss-Cross album is full of contention. A real cooking session.
• Two-Part Contention by Dave Brubeck
  Continuing in the jazz mode, this is a solo piano piece
• Takes Two To Tango by Ray Charles and Betty Carter
  Two great vocal stylists enjoying their meeting. We know that Ray was one for the ladies, but there's no word on if he was able to corrupt her royal highness.
• Talkin' Out The Side Of Your Neck by Cameo
  Speaking with forked tongue
• Two Can Win Jay Dee
  An ironic title, he samples "only one can win". Dilla's donuts are bananas.
• Baby, You Oughta Think It Over by Bobby Womack
  Walk away with your head held high
• Dinner for Two by Michael Cooper
  The Cameo alumni goes mellow
• Who Do You Think You're Fooling (pt 1 & 2) by Symphonic Four
  Quintessential soul music, a divine lead falsetto and rugged background vocals, the boys are a chorus: "when your mind stinks, you forget your soul"
• Carriage For Two by Tricky
  In the background you hear Lady Day's lyrics: "God bless the child that's got his own". The album title is apposite: Angels With Dirty Faces
• Hypocrites by Bob Marley
  Dry land tourists feigning airs
• Tea For Two by Jacky Terrasson & Cassandra Wilson
  A delicate, nightly rendezvous

The Corruption Tango

A dance in four movements.

1. A Touch of Sleaze
2. Cease and Desist
3. The Temptation of Black Gold
4. The World's Lawyer

I nominate this internal displacement for The Things Fall Apart series under the banner of Fallen Angels.

Next: Part 2: Cease and Desist

File under: corruption, culture, observation, perception, humour, USA, rogues, oil, Black Gold, gremlins, parasites, interplay, capitalism, poetry, economics, regulation, Fallen Angels, Africa, Observers are worried, Things Fall Apart, toli

Writing log. Concept: July 7, 2005; March 8, 2021