Showing posts with label Ionesco. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ionesco. Show all posts

Thursday, October 01, 2020

Uneasy Phrases

"Human capital stock" is such an uneasy phrase
It comes out of the mouth of wolves rather than that of babes
Ananse cast a jaundiced eye and careful gaze
At their White Houses and gleaming palaces

Nuts and Bolts

"Excess mortality" is another such uneasy phrase
The death toll above normalcy is the faintest of praise
A well worn way to hide cold bodies lost through neglect or dereliction
A fond strategy in the strange architecture of misdirection

There is a thin line between proffering words intended to obscure
And speakers fumbling in their attempt to communicate with clarity
The latter struggle with genuine conflict, for comprehension is poor
The former combine inspired coinages into phrases that mangle reality

"Constructive engagement" was Reagan and Thatcher's favored bromide
Some consultant suggested that message in light of their strong support for apartheid
Sanctions were a bridge too far for them, 'twas ancient history or an allergic reaction
Being forever branded on the wrong side of history was, I believe, a just compensation

Structural adjustment stands in the pantheon of uneasy phrases
It was itself eventually adjusted to end "with a human face"
The authors had no initial compunction at the inflicted miseries
Nor indeed did the authoritarians that carried out said policies

Collateral damage, in this business, holds pride of place
It's a time tested fallback for bloodthirsty mistakes
Buy them from us, use our weapon systems, there'll be no near misses
Our Predator drones and double tap attacks can erase any witnesses

Resorting to turns like "plausible deniability" really ought to be beneath us
The phrase is long favored by CIA trainers at The School of the Americas
I'm minded of the torture, and all the blood that their graduates spilled
It doesn't matter how smart the weasel words sound when victims are maimed or killed

The patron saint of uneasy phrases was named Eugene Ionesco
I know some claim Beckett, but I go with He of The Bald Soprano
That translation is itself contested, and subject of academic fodder
The purists of absurdity seem to prefer The Bald Prima Donna

"Stress position" betrays its roots as post-facto justification
Of agency authorization for routine, but bureaucratic, suffocation
We'll no doubt be hearing about how rarely these tactics are deployed
Pinned down on the ground, it doesn't matter if your name is Floyd

"Coercive interrogation techniques" is quite the linguistic distortion
Like extraordinary rendition, it mutilates truth in favor of fiction
Three letter agencies are empowered to shift the blame
America's real herd immunity is to shame

Identification haircut was a Ghanaian paramilitary innovation
Later to be eclipsed in infamy by Liberian and Sierra Leonean
Small Boy Units, what with their notorious, summary amputations
Bloodlust went to their head, their condition was all too human
Years later, they're still trying to brand it as revolutionary fervor
Even as we all know they were simply reaping The Wages of Thermidor

That American favorite, "extreme prejudice", is no exaggeration
For murder, no matter how couched, is about blood and sin
The words, by necessity, an attempt at damage mitigation
A preemptive laundering of conscience and reputation scrubbing

...

I once envisioned a society where outrage was banned,
And bootleg outrage was traded on the black market
A entire world, built on the possibility of illicit outrage
Notebook pages filled out, depicting people wearing masks of contentment.

It was a stark scenario,
The reflection of a cracked mirror
Of a strange kind of life
Lived in the shadows of deceit
Not unlike modern America
By way of Orwell, Atwood, or
[Insert your favourite dystopia]
The paradox is that our current world is not too dissimilar
We have Happy Valleys served by sundry tribes of essential workers
Those migrant souls who work for Tyson in meat packing plants
In daytime shifts and compete to snatch a few labored hours
At distribution warehouses or post-industrial farms
They take public transportation to sleep akimbo atop bunk beds
Dodging bed bugs in slum housing in Elysium's favelas
It is what lies beneath that matters, it is said,
And only occasionally the subject of a fugitive glimpse
The cement of society is thus oft ignored
But is eventually revealed, in its absence, as core infrastructure

In a covidious time
We have ample reason to ponder the new normalcy
Everything must change
Their wishful thinking cannot deny viral realities
It starts with words and phrases
That should be immediately contested
Language matters, no matter the actor
And we are often faced with none-too-subtle misdirection
So I've now become a student of platitudes and prevarications
And their close companions, daily distortions and dissimulations

Who was it, at length, I wondered,
In my notional land that would have the courage
To stand up and be counted,
In the face of oppression and societal damage,
Most would rather like, or tweet often
The comforting tools of the age
For many, sadly, have forgotten
The necessity of permanent outrage


Further Reading


It seems uneasy phrases are a longtime topic in my writing. See previously:

tag cloud: bush

tag cloud: USA

I nominate this note for The Things Fall Apart series under the banner of the Rough Beast which simply asks: who is writing the script?

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Writing log: Concept: August 20, 2020

Monday, October 29, 2007

By Way of Ionesco

It must have been a few months ago, I was heading home after work; it was the usual thing, a perfectly ordinary evening. As usual, I was fumbling with my various bags, headphones and such. As I switched trains at Oakland, my sharp elbows ensured that I obtained a seat; I find it pays to be equipped at rush hour. I settled down, rummaged around and found my book. I opened it and relaxed; there's nothing like getting lost in a good book on the commute. A muffled announcement predicted a delay. Oh well, I settled in for the long haul. After a few moments, I heard someone muttering from across the aisle: "Ionesco" or something.

"Yes, yes", I gestured at the distinctive cover of my book, "Ionesco".

The guy continued talking but I couldn't quite hear him since I was listening to music. As I fumbled around with the controls to the cd player (no ipod as yet), it struck me that I had been speaking in French. What I had actually replied was "Oui. Oui. Ionesco... C'est La Cantatrice Chauve."

As I finally removed my headphones (those tangled wires), I realized that the other guy had also been speaking in French.

Well, no matter. If you're reading a French book on the subway, odds are that a passing Frenchman would notice and engage you. Perhaps you look vaguely francophone. It would stand to reason that you would start to speak in French also. Indeed the reason I had been reading that book was one of my periodic attempts to keep up my French. Still it was uncanny how I had unconsciously slipped into that other language, perhaps a switch had been involuntarily flipped as sometimes happens to polyglots (pdf). I don't get to speak the language much these days - I am awful about keeping up with the part of my family in France. True, every few months or so I dream in French (don't ask, don't tell) but I know that my fluency in conversational speech is at risk.

So anyway, there was a little pause as we both assessed each other. A couple of relatively thin thirtysomethings, hungry engineer types. Not many people chat on the subway, one is always wary about being solicited or otherwise bothered. As the song goes: don't talk to strangers. How often, however, does one find someone interesting on the commute?

Well, the conversation began in earnest. Ionesco it was. His plays, his ideas, the theatre.

What do you know, I was sitting across from someone who had directed four Ionesco plays; a fellow Ionesco afficionado no less. I'd acted in Les Chaises during my brief theatrical career at school. Heck I still sometimes view the world through his jaundiced lens. The guy was clearly a creative type, steeped in the stage. A man after my heart. And he knew his stuff it seemed.

Pretty soon we were getting into the intricacies of Ionesco's world. What we liked: the playfulness of the language, the sense of rhythm, the stacatto effects that leapt from the page. The often startling juxtaposition of mundane minutiae with profundity. The pauses and the fumbling to find meaning and the consequent resort to words that obscure rather than reveal. Heady stuff in other words.

My spoken french is a little rusty and, a couple of times, I too struggled to articulate some of these thoughts. It's one thing to write or read about the intricacies of art and another to verbalize them even forgetting the setting. Still it was coming back slowly: the quintessential abstractions of extinct philosophers. The accent too - I was a scion of la Lorraine, straining my 'ains'. Perhaps the long lamented fluency would be returning soon.

Somehow we got onto the nomadic element in Ionesco's writing and the fact that he was Romanian and first gained fame writing in french in a piece about observing the English. What is it about outsiders being such stylists? Why are they often the best bridges and windows on society? Perhaps the margins provide a good standpoint for cultural observation. But what are the downsides of the lives of exiled souls? Does multi-lingualism or the crossing of linguistic borders sharpen one's outlook? We weighed the evidence. I brought up Nabokov who in later life turned out to be perhaps one of the great stylists of the English language. He wasn't impressed, he felt that Ionesco got closer to the gypsy element of modernity than Nabokov ever did. I demurred, both, I thought, were modern travellers that disdained boundaries and pushed the forms in which they wielded their pens. The response: well Ionesco carried less baggage. Anyway we got back to the plays.

la cantatrice chauve

He liked Rhinoceros and Les Chaises for their theatricality but for him La cantatrice chauve was the most playful with the language. We went back and forth on whether it was a play best performed in French. He didn't like the English productions he'd seen and claimed that they got the zaniness all wrong. I thought that so long as you got into the spirit of things, it didn't matter. To him the confusion started with the way the play's title was translated: he preferred The Bald Prima Donna to The Bald Soprano. Thus we found ourselves seriously arguing away in French about which English translation of a nonsensical phrase a Romanian playwright had promulgated was truer to the essence of the play. I can't imagine how we must have sounded to the rest of the train car: flurries of French intermittently interupted by English exclamations: "The Bald Soprano" or "Mais non. The Bald Prima Donna". C'est ridicule, n'est-ce pas?

Funnily enough we never actually mentioned the word absurd although the theatre of the absurd was our ostensible subject. Nor indeed did we get to Beckett who looms large in such matters. To my mind, Ionesco is the more formidable pillar of that theatre, if only because his conceptions weren't as arch as those of Godot's father. The discongruities of modern life are presented simply and with wit. I love Beckett to death yet his edifices were intricate constructions. Ionesco makes the absurd more mundane, it is through almost imperceptible distortions that you find yourself in the realm of the improbable. Each step on that road makes sense.

There was a brief diversion onto Sartre - we discussed Huis clos, and judged him impractical. More to the point, his dilemmas weren't weren't of the everyday variety nor indeed did they work on the stage. No, not quite.

I hipped him to the show I'd seen in Boston a couple of years ago, Ionesco not Ionesco, three rarely performed plays. The takeaway message: Ionesco as the aspirin for modern day life, the playwright of the fringe, the governor of the borderlands. You are easily underestimated if there is a humour to your approach and many did underestimate the fugitive notions of the man.

I forgot myself for a moment, soaking in the discussion, and looked around. The rest of the car looked utterly bemused at the sight of these young men vigourously discussing French literature in their midst, throwing out existential themes — the left bank transplanted to the subway car, heck all we were missing were the berets. No matter.

It was the week of the French elections and I mentioned the story about those old campaign posters of Mitterand that were being resurrected twenty years later as ironic commentary on the choices facing the French. He liked the idea and applauded the juxtaposition. A François Mitterrand 2007 campaign seemed appropriate for this dark time. We wondered how many votes he would get.

The Cold War deserved a Ionesco. The nuclear age deserved a Ionesco. Gremlins and parasites, thine playwright is Ionesco.

ionesco collage

We wondered who were the heirs to Ionesco's ethos. We decided that there was something to be said for plays even in this TV and film era. That the stage often had the right level of pathos for the strange incongruities of the human condition. As we parted (he gave a card, I told him to google me), we resolved that we should get back to the theatre, support it in whatever way we could. Who knows maybe we'll put together a production some time soon. It need not be Ionesco. Heck we would write our own plays.

...

When a week or so later, I received that secret tape of Negroponte meeting Gaddafi, I was struck by the element of malign play among in their discourse and world views. As I transcribed, I found it was all there: words intended to obscure, words that ostensibly communicate were instead combined into phrases that mangle reality: constructive engagement, collateral damage and so forth.

The playground of misdirection is often dominated by politicians but others too have their niches. The lowly bureaucrat and the well-meaning citizen play their part is adopting the language of bromides. Ionesco would have loved the notion of recent non-specific general threats and the obfuscation of the language of homeland security.

Pamscadise by kwesi yankah

In any case, it stands to reason that I am now being read by folks from both the US Navy Marine Corps and Libyan embassies around the world. I do try to bring people together in my writing. A belated welcome to the toli. Enjoy your stay. Excellent. Excellent discussions.

Salut Alex.

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Excellent Discussions

SourSweet

I. Blood Brothers


Apropos strange bedfellows, I came across the following report this week:

Tripoli. U.S. Deputy Secretary of State John Negroponte left Libya on Wednesday without meeting leader Muammar Gaddafi after becoming the highest-ranking U.S. official to visit the country in half a century, officials said.

Negroponte said he held "excellent" discussions with Foreign Minister Mohammed Abdel-Rahman Shalgam and Ali Triki, Libya's envoy on Chad and Sudan, during a 24-hour visit aimed principally at discussing the crisis in Sudan's Darfur region.

Dig: Gaddafi presumably refused to meet Negroponte because the esteemed cold warrior was involved in Ronald Reagan's attempt to kill him in the 1980s (the bombing ostensibly killed Gaddafi's adopted daughter amongst others). There is honor among rogues it seems, and there are still some lines that mustn't be crossed. As we have seen, "he tried to kill my dad" was cited as a motivating factor in the geo-politics of the past 6 years. It stands to reason that "he tried to kill me" would provoke scruples even among those not noted for possessing consciences.

Tom Stoppard in Travesties imagined the scene in 1917 in the Zurich public library at the point where Vladimir Lenin, James Joyce (working on Ulysses) and Tristan Tzara (father of the Dada movement) might have run into each other. The result was inspiration itself.

In this vein I imagine Gaddafi, Omar Al-Bashir of Sudan, and Negroponte all in the same room. You might think that it is unfair to place Negroponte in such exalted company since he's an enforcer and not an idea man; a mere civil servant and career diplomat. He's just doing his job after all, scion of John Foster Dulles. And yes, it would be unfair, not to mention a case of "insinuendo" as it were. And a matter of blood.

Still, Negroponte floating the "El Salvador option" in Iraq in recent years was iconic, and his statements were followed in the ensuing months by, well lets put it this way, a plethora of death squads dumping dead bodies at night with gruesome efficiency in the streets of that sad country. I'm reminded that General "Gitmo" Miller's visit to Iraq and emphasis on Gitmo-izing things obviously had nothing to do with all that Abu Ghraib hullabaloo that also followed. Several Pentagon investigations affirm that insight, right? There's no proven connection. It's all shades of gray when the gloves come off. Necessary exoneration.

One wonders what happens when these lords of war get together. Oh to be a fly on the wall of such encounters. Imagine: the architect of the CIA in El Salvador meeting with the architect of almost every malfeasance in the Middle East and Africa for a good generation. The Good Shepherd meets El Capo, rogue division. Death squads in Latin America meet death squads in West Africa. On Monday: mighty masters of macabre mayhem. The high priests of collateral damage tangle in the desert. Live exclusively on pay-per-view. The Great Game.

Further one wonders: are they truly ideologues? At what point does collateral damage itself become the prime motivation for their misdeeds? What ultimately separates these guys from the blood lust of Ayman al-Zawari and company? There is a difference to be sure. But is it simply style or rhetoric? The panache or subtlety with which they dispatch enemies, real and imagined? For indeed, even at a remove and intentions notwithstanding, their body counts are impressive.

And could one even shed a micro-tear for a millisecond for al-Bashir? Good Lord, you prompted Negroponte to seek out Gaddafi, the first high level meeting in decades. What world class malfeasance must you be orchestrating in Darfur? Carnage of champions. Hell froze over. The enemy of my enemy and all that. The rough beast.

I've often wondered what it was like to attend, say, an OAU meeting circa 1989. That must surely have been a rogues gallery sans pareil. Could you shake hands with everyone in that room and look at yourself in the mirror the next day? For that matter, could you sleep that night? And what did the small talk of the nifty fifty sound like? Scratch that, what exactly was their big talk? Inquiring minds want to know.

Comparing notes about fiscal looteries past
Idle boasts of military efficiencies
The minutiae of collateral damage
The bald soprano

II. Excellent Discussions


The following is a rush transcript of the secret meeting held between John Negroponte and Muammar Gaddafi in Libya on Wednesday April 18, 2007. The videotape was leaked to the toli and was immediately handed over to the relevant authorities for authentication. All transcription errors are mine.

[Inside a tent. Decor is well appointed, if not luxurious. Purple silks, indigo cloths etc. Soothing sounds. Negroponte and an aide are shown in by Libyan foreign minister and envoy. Inaudible exchange of pleasantries as they take up seats and are served cups of tea. After a minute or so Gaddafi walks in, flowing robes as usual. Takes up his seat opposite Negroponte. Stares. Long silence... They appear to be sizing each other up. Eventually, after a few false starts, they begin their conversation.]

Gaddafi: Brother Leader of the Great Socialist Arab People's Jamahiriya.

Negroponte: Deputy Secretary of State

Gaddafi: Guide of the Revolution

Negroponte: Director of National Intelligence

Gaddafi: Grand Commander of The Order Al-Fatah

Negroponte: US ambassador to Iraq and Honduras

Gaddafi [indignant]: He of The Little Green Book

Negroponte [impressed, but not wanting to show it.]: Skull and Bones... [Low steady voice] Death squads in Honduras.

Gaddafi: Death squads in Liberia.

Negroponte: Massacres in El Salvador.

Gaddafi: Small boy units. Charles Taylor. 'Nuff said.

[both men seem to relax... become expansive in their gestures]

Negroponte: El Mozote.

Gaddafi: Sierra Leonean amputations. Heard about Foday Sankoh? Trained a few miles from here.

Negroponte: Special intelligence units, Nicaragua..

Gaddafi: Semtex for the IRA. Provisional and Real IRA. Training camps.

Negroponte: Weapons for Savimbi. Hosting Unita via Mobutu. Heck: Mobutu. The fat lady sang.

Gaddafi [absentmindedly]: Those Basque separatists... um... what's their name, again?

Negroponte [interrupts]: Noriega!

Gaddafi: Oh yeah. ETA.

Negroponte: Paraguay!

Gaddafi [nodding... fondly]: ETA.

Negroponte: The El Salvador Option. Iraq. The latest. Militias. Pershmerga. Shia. Badr corps.

Gaddafi: Propped up Idi Amin.

Negroponte [whistles]: Ancient history... Death squads in Guatemala.

Gaddafi: A pattern. Let's see: Jammeh in Gambia, even gave him a medal.

Negroponte [air quotes]: "Dedication to democracy".

Gaddafi: Operation No Living Thing

Negroponte: Our "special project"

Gaddafi [curt]: Chad.

Negroponte [smiles broadly]: Nicaragua. Iran/Contra baby.

Gaddafi: Mengistu.

Negroponte: Old school... Hmm. School of the Americas.

Gaddafi: Rawlings... Campaore in Burkina Faso.

Negroponte: Small fry. New school. Black ops. Extraordinary rendition.

Gaddafi: No. No. Beat this: Carlos the Jackal.

Negroponte [a brief pause for reflection, then triumphant]: Pinochet!

[It looks like a stalemate... Both men pause to reassess. It's almost as if they are racking their brains for something that could top the other. Negroponte sips his tea. Almost a minute passes... several false starts]

Negroponte [curious]: So... was Black September one of your... affairs?

Gaddafi [wagging his finger]: No. No. Room and board only... Abu Nidal. That guy, now there was a wild one... Black September. Black ops... Let me ask: Abu Ghraib?

Negroponte [quickly]: Rumsfeld, Cambone, Miller. Axis of- [cuts himself off]... Mugabe?

Gaddafi [shaking head]: Nope, strictly business with Bob. Mining interests.

Negroponte: Yes, yes. We also have interests. The United States only has interests.

Gaddafi: Pawns.

Negroponte: Allies.

Gaddafi: Proxies.

Negroponte: Cut-outs. Drill bits.

Gaddafi: Valued partners.

Negroponte: Plausible deniability.

Gaddafi: No fingerprints.

Negroponte: Our hands are clean.

Gaddafi: Clean hands.

Negroponte: Strictly business.

Gaddafi: Only interests.

Negroponte [nods]: Only interests.

Gaddafi: Pragmatism.

Negroponte: Realism.

Gaddafi: Breadth.

Negroponte: Depth.

Gaddafi: Burden of responsibility.

Negroponte: Noblesse oblige.

[leaning closer together]

Gaddafi: Revolutionary sanctions.

Negroponte: Executive orders.

Gaddafi: Decisive principles.

Negroponte: Deterrent facilities.

Gaddafi: Resistance procedures.

Negroponte: Presidential findings.

Gaddafi: Fraternal solidarity.

Negroponte: Covert capabilities.

Gaddafi: Preventive action.

Negroponte: Policy imperatives.

Gaddafi: Independent agitation.

Negroponte: Unitary executive.

Gaddafi: Area of operations.

Negroponte: Spheres of influence.

Gaddafi: Vanguard strategies.

Negroponte: Trade. Lower barriers.

Gaddafi: Uh-uh. Business.

[pregnant pause]

Gaddafi: Business. Never personal.

Negroponte: Strictly business.

Gaddafi: Strictly business.

[A bodyguard peeks into the tent, checking on her charge. Her appearance seems to reminds Muammar of something]

gaddafi bodyguard

Gaddafi: Oh yeah. The hare- [gestures] -em Bodyguards. Personally dedi-

Negroponte [nonplussed]: Women from Honduran villages. Just ask Wilkes. Congressmen, agents. They all want more.

Gaddafi [suppresses a look of admiration... then]: Back to business.

Negroponte: The other business.

Gaddafi: Unfinished business.

Negroponte: Business as usual.

Gaddafi: Liberation movements.

Negroponte: Preserve our liberties.

Gaddafi: Unity in freedom.

Negroponte [quickly]: Democracy.

Gaddafi: Liberation.

Negroponte: Manifest destiny.

Gaddafi: Diplomacy.

Negroponte: Diplomacy.

Gaddafi: Freedom fighters.

Negroponte: Freedom fighters.

[louder]

Gaddafi: Weapons.

Negroponte: Weapons systems.

[louder still]

Gaddafi: Blood.

Negroponte: Blood.

Gaddafi: Blood!

Negroponte: Blood!

Gaddafi [infuriated]: Lockerbie.

Negroponte [shocked, then recovers, coldly]: Your daughter.

Gaddafi [smiles inwardly at first, then acts hurt]: Blo- ... I feel... Need to...
[recovers]
Clean hands... That will do.
[shakes his head]
Business. Never personal.

Negroponte: Strictly business.

[Gaddafi gets up and begins to walk out... Imperceptible nod to subordinates who look attentive and acknowledge him. As he reaches the tent exit, he turns.]

Gaddafi: We never met.

Negroponte [nods]: You refused. We never met.

Gaddafi: We never met.

Negroponte : We never met.

[Gaddafi leaves]

[Negroponte sports a self-satisfied smile. He believes he got the better of the exchange. Turns towards aide. Nods. Finishes his tea. Pauses. Then hands his portfolio to aide and starts to walk out. His aide follows.]

Negroponte [to subalterns]: I think we can do business.

Foreign minister and envoy: [inaudible]

[At the exit]

Negroponte: A good meeting. Excellent. Excellent discussions.

[exits the tent]

[A song has been playing in the background throughout. Provisionally identified as Wynton Marsalis - Blood on the Fields. Revisit.]

[end of transcription]

la cantatrice chauve



Strange bedfellows are among my favourite subjects. Consider this note part of an occasional series. The banner is Fallen Angels.

Part III. By Way of Ionesco

Next: He of The Little Green Book

Possibly related: Recent Non-Specific General Threats

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Inauguration à L'Africaine

Back in January I attended the inauguration of Ghana's President John Agyekum Kufuor into his second term in office. Accra's finest were in their element; Ghanaians don't need much prompting for ceremony - if funeral attendance can be one of our great social pastimes, imagine what a happy occasion can bring about.

I was escorting my mum who, like almost all the women present, was decked out in a colourful kente outfit. One of the President's Special Initiatives is on textiles so the word had gone out in the media encouraging everyone to wear Made-in-Ghana clothing. There was mostly kente but also lavish lace, agbadas and batakaris on display. Actually hers was a highly unusual kente, traditionally most go for the orange/yellow/green variety. Having seen the cloth before it was sewn, my father and I had been puzzled by it, we couldn't imagine what it would look like when complete and, as it ended up, the seamstress had deconstructed the kente strips and reinvented it beyond anything we could have envisioned.

Mum at inauguration


I'd never been to an inauguration before and didn't think I'd ever have occasion to do so again, so it was tongue-in-cheek when I groaned grudgingly that I would rather watch the event on TV. Everyone saw right through my pose, and rightly so.

The main ingredients of such events are what one would expect: pomp, circumstance and pageantry. In this instance, there was an added component: chaos. I should elaborate somewhat on the latter quality of the occasion...

One of my favourite plays is Les Chaises (The Chairs) by Eugene Ionesco which is a classic in the Theatre of the Absurd. Its plot is about a nonagenarian couple who are waiting in a lecture hall arranging chairs in preparation for a lecture and interacting with a host of invisible participants. The language and the stage directions are minimalist and ridiculous, but such fun to follow or act out. The play is hilarious, bleak and an object lesson in futility much like the chaos that was to ensue during the proceedings. As it turned out my prime impression of the inauguration was that everything boiled down to a matter of chairs.

Les Chaises


Now this was quite surprising to me, it should plainly have been a numbers game. After all, the state protocol officials knew exactly how many people they had invited and how many minders they would have. And they had unlimited budgets and the vast grounds of Independence Square available to them. You can't gatecrash events where 6 heads of state and a cohort of dignitaries are in attendance, at least I would hope the security would be tight enough to assure that.

So let's start with this: the President's family didn't have any seats.

As they bitterly reminded us, they had stood throughout all the proceedings in the 2000 inauguration. This year they stoically stood their ground, demanded that the right thing be done and were determined to cause a scene. "The last time, we could blame the previous government, we didn't have time to prepare a transition. This time, we're in power... Look at this! Look at this!"

Eventually chairs were fetched and a temporary canopy was rushed to the scene. Of course, the canopy was still being assembled when the Speaker of Parliament and his clerks made their way to the podium to start the function.

The Chairs


Then there was the case of the chiefs. African chiefs have large retinues and even the lowliest of sub-chiefs will insist on no one sitting in front of them. An hour before the scheduled start, as the extent of the chair fiasco became evident to all, 50 or so chiefs decided to take up the seats reserved for the Members of Parliament. Imagine that: the inauguration is supposed to be a sitting session of parliament. All the newly sworn MPs and their spouses were supposed to be in that section. They'd walk out in a rage. So there was a scramble to somehow manufacture some chairs for the chiefs and then to find the right way to phrase the requests to have these members of the Council of State take them up. There was a minor hitch when it was heard that that someone, and no one knew who, had forbidden plastic chairs. What comedy, don't you think? We're just lucky the Asantehene was not in attendance and had sent a representative in his stead.

Not to belabour the point or to sound too prissy, but as I sunk into my own chair (How I got it? I won't discuss) and tried to cajole my face in an expression of quiet expectancy, it seemed to me that having burly workmen ushering plastic chairs over a sitting Baroness Amos (UK) and dodging past President Ahmed Tejan Kabbah (Sierra Leone) was stretching things a bit.
"Oh! Excuse-o Madame".
The Chairs


Then there was the Master of Ceremonies for the occasion, who mangled every name and title: to take a few examples, ascribing Sierra-Leonean citizenship to South African Deputy President, Jacob Zuma. President Blaise Compaoré of Burkina Faso suddenly became Gambian. "Big Mama", Mrs Obasanjo discovered that she was actually the First Lady of Niger not Nigeria, and so on. That last one at least got a correction, President Olusegun Obasanjo can be poker-faced like the best of them, but there are some things that even he can't handle. The Nigerians, and there is no society more hectic than theirs, would never tolerate disorganization on this scale. Needless to say, the MC's every utterance occasioned squirming for all in attendance. You could just see the members of the diplomatic corps flinching and preparing their communiqués back home. The IMF and World Bank types were sporting self-satisfied smirks confident that they have every reason to dictate to us.

A few other items of note. It was also the first and last time I saw Gnassingbe Eyadema, President of Togo, in the flesh, with his customary dark glasses and impassive bearing. A mafia don if ever there was, he was weeks from his death.

And the sight of the judiciary. Have you ever seen their like? Wearing wigs and Etonian robes in the almost Saharan heat. Lord have mercy. The members of the Supreme Court made even the numerous clergy look sedate (Ghana is currently in grip of a new Christianity).

judges


The event was almost derailed and dignitaries were kept waiting for hours on display in the midday heat by the shenanigans of the opposition who had thrown the proceedings in parliament into uproar by deciding to renege on the consensus agreement of the nomination of the Speaker of Parliament. Nothing could start until the speaker and the leaders of the house were elected. It was all a means of sticking their thumbs in all our faces and embarrassing the assembled cast.

At one point, as the voting was taking place in parliament, the rumour spread at the square that the opposition were about to boycott the inauguration since, as befitted their minority status, the votes were sure to not go their way. My mum pointed out that that was very unlikely: she'd have loved to hear the conversations between the minority MPs and their spouses, who had done their hair and nails the previous day and got up early to dress in their finest linen or kente, explaining why they were planning to head home. In the event they showed up, but about half of the spouses didn't have seats. That was actually a good thing: a hundred glamourous women standing in the sun make a picturesque and arresting spectacle. Speaking for myself, I was a keen watcher. The photographers also could pretend that they were at the fashion shows in Milan or Paris.

An inaugural speech is not the most flamboyant of things, it lacks the drama of a State of the Union address, nevertheless it's an occasion to strike a certain tone. Let me tell you about this inaugural speech:

This is a speech that survived at least
  • 2 corrupted floppy disks
  • an urgent dispatch of a courier with USB thumb drive on hand
  • 3 oh-so-secure webmail postings to Hotmail, Gmail and Yahoo mail accounts since the government mail and VPN system was out of order at the time.
On the day itself, there no amount of consternation when it turned out that the version printed in the inauguration brochure had succumbed to either a typesetting flaw or, more likely, a Microsoft Word bug wherein major sections were either deleted or repeated or somehow munged. Evidently no one had bothered to proof-read the piece. I know some people who were holding their breath, praying that the President's copy was ok and that he wouldn't look idiotic or incoherent.

kufuor inauguration


The speech survived all that and was delivered actually very well by Mr Kufuor. The framing device was simple, start with the following:
A story is told about a conversation that took place during the independence celebrations, between the then American Vice President Richard Nixon, who represented the United States at the Independence Day celebrations, and Sir Charles Noble Arden Clarke who was the last Governor of the Gold Coast, newly turned Ghana.

Vice President Richard Nixon is reported to have asked Sir Charles: "will it work?" In other words, Vice President Nixon was asking, will the great historical experiment they had launched, of an independent African state work?

Sir Charles is reported to have paused awhile and pondered over the question; and then answered: "It will have to work." Presumably he must have meant that as the first sub-Saharan country to gain independence, Ghana needed to succeed to set an example for the rest of colonial Africa.
Lay out the broad strokes of your various policies, and then end triumphantly:
And here I believe I speak on behalf of my compatriots when I answer the question posed by the then Vice President Nixon some 48 years ago about the prospects of the newly independent Ghana; "will it work?" he asked.

I say: yes, it is already working, and with God's help, we will make it work even better.
Strong words indeed and you might say, somewhat belied by what I've written. Discoursing on incompetence is mostly painful for someone as proud as I am of my heritage. If minor things can't even be organized, what about the messy business of development? Or perhaps I'm making too much of these things wringing my hands for comic effect?

When you watched the news later on, or read the reports in the media, there is no sense of the live wire and musical chairs flavour that characterized the event. Three paragraphs on the BBC website, one paragraph in the wire services and New York Times. The story was "the President was inaugurated, there was a little snag in parliament, foreign presidents were present, the speech was well received". That's the extent of coverage our small part of the world typically receives.

And maybe that's all that matters then. The weather was fine, the harmattan had come with a vengeance and cast an almost sandy mist that dissipated the heat of the midday sun, There was music (the 20 foot ceremonial drums were out and beaten dramatically), horn blowers blew loudly, there were brass bands and inspections of the guard, a 21-gun salute, there was dancing by nubile women (though not quite as the Swazis do it), and praise-singing by criers. Everyone looked good and strutted like peacocks. The crush of people was intense in the square and the crowds were jubilant. Kufuor is known as the "Gentle Giant" and is a highly popular politician. The NPP supporters knew how to celebrate and indeed it was hard to summon any cynicism in light of their evident happiness. The young men beating drums, inventing new chants and doing spontaneous line dances, were exuberance itself.

I'll conclude though by writing about one of the most vivid images that returns to my mind a few months on. The Libyan representative had one of Gaddafi's legendary female bodyguards attending to him. This woman mesmerized me more even than anything I've written so far.

bodyguard


To give some context, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi normally travels with a few planeloads of female bodyguards. They are typically young, beautiful and fierce things. There is some dispute as to whether they are a mere eccentricity, a simple harem-in-disguise or rather the notorious, Amazonian vanguard of his security services.

Now Gaddafi has sponsored almost every misadventure in the sub-region for the past 30 years, and there have been many, many coups-d'états and rebellions in Africa. You didn't have to start out claiming you were against imperialism and the US to get a cool million from the man of the Little Green Book, you could launch your escapade and only afterward discover that you needed financial help to stabilize things (as was the case with Rawlings).

Incidentally, when Zimbabwe finally unravels in the near future, we'll find out just how much of its patrimony Robert Mugabe has turned over to the good colonel's hands in order to remain solvent. The couple of visits our Muammar has made to Harare in the past 5 years bode ill for that country.

In the particular case of Liberia and Sierra Leone, the mischief was unpardonable. After he escaped from jail in Somerville, MA, Charles Taylor went to train in Libya and started his guerrilla war in Liberia with Libyan help. 15 years later, and 5 countries destabilized, it stands as one of the most destructive and bloody episodes in West African history, something that will take a generation or more to recover from.

Some of the child soldiers who were press-ganged into biblical savagery by Taylor's Sierra Leonean partner-in-crime, Foday Sankoh talk about their Libyan "mother" who was there all along in the background orchestrating much of the mayhem. I've watched or listened to many a documentary about these child soldiers, it is haunting stuff indeed.

The elliptical figure that appears, time and again, in the nightmarish accounts of kidnappings, conscription, forced drugging, hacked limbs, summary amputations, rape as a matter of course, and even that lugubrious standby, cannibalism, is presumably one of those notorious women from Gaddafi's entourage. Who knows if "mother" actually wielded the weapons herself, she was right there in the midst of it, drenched in blood diamonds.

I am not too keen on the word evil, like Ian McEwan, I lean towards the notion that "there are only people behaving, and sometimes behaving monstrously". So you can imagine why I forgot all about the chaos around me and simply stared at her in awful awe. This one was tending towards middle-age. She was a little stout and was dressed unobtrusively as befits someone who is meant to guard someone, in this case the foreign minister or other Gaddafi had deigned to send.

I stood 3 rows behind, admiring the aura of quiet professionalism as she ushered her man to his seat and took up her position to the right of the podium. Her practiced eye was always roving over the crowd, alert for mischief. Only the American and British bodyguards looked comparably sharp and tough.

As for the various African bodyguards, they weren't much of anything, burly but you wondered what a determined foe would do to them. The Nigerian ones had eaten too much eba; it was fufu in the case of the Ghanaians. The Senegalese accompanying Abdoulaye Wade seemed almost effete, tense and frail. The South African ones were only concerned with securing a chair so that their aide-de-camp, could sit behind Zuma. Indeed Miss Libya was the first to react when there was a minor scramble near the VIP section, dispensing a sharp elbow that put paid to some over-enthusiastic paparazzi-type.

I spent most of the inauguration transfixed, wondering if it was this particular woman, or perhaps her sister or one of her close friends, who was in Sierra Leone, seconded to that rogue band of malfeasants. I still wonder you know.


See also: Excellent Discussions and He of The Little Green Book


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